Rules and boundries can actually be comforting for children. They are looking to parents for love, care, support and limits. They need guidelines you living and these are not innate. The trick is you have them be part of the process so that they “own it”. I often encounter families without rules and there are several negative outcomes. A lack of protection is one that you don’t often think of. Rule protect siblings from eachother. It helps insure that one child doesn’t simply over run the others by helping themselves to whatever the household resources are. The second negative effect is that there is not a sense of community with out some rules. Kids need to feel like they are part of a group that works together toward common goals.

Imagine you were sitting on a stool in a completely dark room. In utter blinding darkness. When you were told to find your way out you were to just get up and search around for the way out of the room. Wouldn’t you find comfort in touching a wall that you could follow? You would probably have a much easier time in a small managable space instead of a vast expanse to wander through.

Ease your child’s journey with guidelines to show them the way in life.

What to Keep
Keep what makes you happy and what is useful. Many times clients pull out items that have no use and hold bad memories and we urge them to let those items out of their lives to make room for better things to come in.

OVERPERSONALIZATION!
Many disorganized people tend to “overpersonalize” items and even give them human characteristics! They attach to item like they were living things and feel very bad discarding them. We play the “Friend, Acquaintances, and Strangers Game” to sort through their stuff. Our “friends” are active and are stored in prominent places in our homes. “Acquaintances” usually are less active and can be stored deeper in the home and we want to identify “strangers” and find a new home for them!

CONNECT
When clients connect with the places there unwanted items are going, the percentage of stuff they are willing to part with increases!

As a child I if my mom did not want to buy me something she would simply say, “We can’t afford that” and usually there would be no conflict. But often the object of my desire was something small like a cookie and I often wondered how we could have such a nice home and not be able to afford these little things! it unnecessarily instilled a sense of “deprivation” because truly the phrase was used to avoid discussion rather than to portray an accurate picture of our finances!

As an adult I committed to never say “we can’t afford that” to my children. I want to instill the idea that we have “enough” but “choose” not to purchase items based on our needs and desires. I feel this models a responsible attitude about money and prioritizing in a way that is empowering to kids. I prefer to simply say that I do not want to purchase an item or that I don’t want to spend my money that way. Yes, this puts the bull’s-eye squarely on my forehead for deciding against a purchase they are drooling over, but the long term gain is worth the short term frustration. My kids can walk through life with the feeling that there is “enough” and that they are in control.

I do not believe that our children need to be burdened with financial knowledge that they are not ready to process completely. They should have a general idea of what it takes to run a household and how banking and bill paying works, but they should not be informed about this in a negative way. Family financials should be shared to illustrate a point or to give them an ideas of how money flows through your home. This should not be a negative exercise, but rather a life lesson that they can build on!

As a Professional Organizer and Certified Family Manager Coach I see people trying to cope with basic life skills daily and truly struggle. I often tell clients that “there is no model for managing a household today”. Our mothers and grandmother did not have to deal with the shear amount of information that we need to deal with on a daily basis. Our parents memorized phone numbers by the first three letters of the area and the four digit. Now we have at least 3 numbers to remember for most people we encounter and probably a different number for each family member. Not to mention email addresses! We are overloaded with media, opportunities and technology. All of this blurs our ability to prioritize and handle day to day living. Organizing and Family Management Assessment help people diagnose areas where they need help and then we teach people how to better mange their time and space and to be more aligned with what is most important.

GENERAL HANDINESS
Does anyone remember old typewriters with movable keys and hit the ribbon to make a mark on your paper? How about a wind up alarm clock or knobs that change channels? We grew up where you could see how things work. The mechanics were evident and everywhere. At least we had wires that connected a machine the thing that controlled it. Evidence of how things actually work is hidden today. Printers somehow magically spit ink onto a page (I think?), remotes turn things on from across the room, led displays silently tell time and we are all connected wirelessly by cell phones! Our kids have no exposure to mechanics and how things work. They are designed to be hidden and therefore there is no curiosity or wonder instilled by just watching machines work. They won’t pick it up naturally; it will have to be taught.

WHAT IS A WELL MANAGED FAMILY?
A well-managed family is a family that communicates well and works together to live with love, respect, joy and intention.

HOW DID YOU LEARN HOW TO MANAGE A FAMILY?
My mother was efficient and organized. She had a good balance between following a system that worked and having lots of fun. I then became a teacher and learned how to develop systems that help children succeed and be independent. As a mother I enjoyed developed systems based around family meetings and clear cut routines and rules that everyone developed together. As a professional organizer and speaker I use all these things to bring order and simplicity to individuals and families.

Yes, I know it is National Preparedness Month!
Yes, I was watching IKE! (Hugs, Ellen)
Yes, I am a Professional Organizer!
Yes, the lights flickered a few times!
NO, I was not completely prepared!

I guess my unending optimism got the best of me! I have supplies, batteries, extra cash, a home safe but it’s the little things you forget. I had to appear on KDKA’s Pittsburgh TODAY Live, this morning and when the lights went out—so did any chance of getting my hair to look nice! For all my good planning and preperation for the segment, it did not occur to me that I would wake up with bed head and be powerless to do a thing about it! Well at least this short fall did not involve any real danger and I learned a lesson in how those little things make a difference! My heart goes out to all those folks in Houston!

PS Patrick…this MOBILE blog is for you!

Anyone who has EVER emailed me knows that they need to be brief and get to the ACTION in the first few lines or else I will MISS IT! I love bulleted emails that get right to the point! The following format that is recommended by Mike Song in the book “The Hamster Revolution”. He calls it the A-B-C format.

A-for Action
B-for Background
C-for Close

State the action you want right away,(and frankly if that is all you want, don’t hesitate to put it in the subject line with EOM*). Then give the background information and a closing with your signature. For example:

Dear John,

Thank you so much for previewing this course and I am happy to hear any comment or suggestions.

That is so much easier to read than a huge WALL OF WORDS!
You will save your readers time and they will LOVE hearing from you!

By the way
*EOM stands for End of Message

The average projected number of corporate emails sent and received per person, per day: 142 in 2007, 156 in 2008, 177 in 2009, 199 in 2010, 228 in 2011. By 2009, workers are expecting to spend 41% of their time in email management.

Radicati Group, Palo Alto, 2007

How do we combat this trend?

SEND LESS
For every 5 emails you send, 3 will require a response! By eliminating just one email in five you can reduce your email by 12%. Since every email takes an average of two minutes to process, this one tip can save you hours if not days!

USE THE SUBJECT LINE-EOM!
Use descriptive subject lines even in a chain of emails. Use EOM for End Of Message in the subject line to let the reader delete without even opening. Specific subject lines help with retrieval later as well. You can even change subject lines on emails that you receive in Outlook by opening the email, highlighting the subject and saving!

AVOID THE TEMPTATION TO REPLY ALL OR CC EVERYONE ON THE PLANET!
Be careful with these tools. Although they they are useful, over use is annoying and you may end up on someone’s junk mail folder. You can always spot the “email beginner” because they are CCing, and forwarding everything in sight!

USE SHORTCUTS-NRN and NTN
Avoid getting caught in endless Thank Yous and Confirmations! Add NRN- No Response Necessary and NTN No Thanks Needed to your closing or in the subject line to avoid extra emails in your inbox! Your colleagues will appreciate it and do the same!

RESOLVE TO STOP RESPONDING IMMEDIATELY
Set your email alert to stop chiming or to chime every 30 or 60 minutes. This distraction cost anywhere from 1 to 5 minutes to get the average person back on track. Schedule time to respond to emails periodically throughout the day. If you have a blackberry avoid sending lots of partial replies, rather than a well thought out, complete response. Remember less is more!

Americans are drowning in clutter! You have seen it on reality and how-to TV shows and as a result, the professional organizing industry has exploded exponentially. People need help simplifying their lives and literally digging themselves out of their mess!

The average U.S. executive wastes six weeks annually searching for important documents lost in clutter. The average American receives 49,060 pieces of mail in their lifetime; one third of it is junk mail and 23% of adults say they pay bills late (and incur fees) because they lose them.

This explosion has attracted a new generation of professional organizers who are highly capable, sophisticated, and business savvy. These new P.O.’s are coming to this industry in droves but often leave quickly without finding success. The truth is that the number of people in need of their talent is endless.

The solution? Training program that help people become “professional” from the start. “An untrained PO can do damage out there in the field. Organizing clients come to us in a vulnerable state and we need to train organizers to be ready”. This is how the PO PUSH program was born! For more info go to www.mckeeos.com and click on the PO PUSH button!